As you should know by now I was in the hospital most of November, therefore I couldn’t get to the November’s Q & A. And since I couldn’t get to November, I’ll have to skip you knowledge seekers and move on to December. Sorry, it’ll throw me off my game. I’ll be backed up answering a bunch of questions I don’t have time for since recovering and I got more important, personal smut to write. Plus the questions were all eerily similar to October’s or they sucked. So you can understand…. But there is the exception of one. This question I must answer. Here goes:
Vikram S. (India) – U like sex? R u frike baby? Du u gat a men biutiful?
Ummm… Okay I am going to guess what this says, recommend an English tutor since it is quite obvious you couldn’t afford the classes, and answer. Sorry, Vikram I don’t like to talk about my personal life. I hope you understand. There are too many crazies out there, especially this time of the year. Good luck with the English tutor. Try Craigslist, I hear there is tutors offering their services there. You’re welcome!
Jason D. (Chicago) – There is a sexual move I want to try with my wife. I have told her about it and ask her if we can test it out. She agreed but was relentless about it. Well when we finally did it she hated it but I really enjoyed it. It was so sexy and a freaking turn on! What can I do to get her to change her mind? Sex is good, but not having the option to do this really bothers me.
What is this “move” you so crave? Ugh, I hate it when people say something that you know is going to be super fucking interesting but then hold back. You people annoy me! Anyways, you expressed to me the sex is good. Not great, but good. Well this thing you so crave, does it devalue her? Degrade her? Does she limit your sex life? Set rules? The way I see it if its that naughty and she cannot see past it enough to enjoy it with you then you have two options:
- Talk to her, ask her why and if it is within understandable reasons then respect her.
- You can continue to obsess over the unnecessary, drive her mad, and end up just jacking off instead of appreciating what is right in front of you. Good luck!
Megan M. (California) – You claim to answer Q and As on sex and relationships but you are not even in the position to do so. Look at you and X! Explain, what are you guys? You talk about him and it is obvious you still love him deeply. Why all the drama? What is going on between you two?
I chose to answer this question even though it has nothing to do with answering the fans. Megan, you are absolutely fucking right! I do not know anything about relationships. As you can see I am in a clearly fucked up one. But note, I DID state I know nothing and claimed not to know anything about relationships. People want my opinion and I give it. Plain and fucking simple. As to answer your assortment of questions pertaining to shit I’d like to actually keep private, but owe it to followers to give insight. I don’t fucking know. Maybe I’m fucked up, bat shit insane, broken, unreasonable, or all of the above. But you cannot tell me you have never loved someone, like truly love them. To the point where it gets heart wrenching, stomaching aching, slit your wrist and die for their pain because you love them so much. I’d love to give you a simple answer but all I can really say is how do two individuals, two different gender species, two already beaten people coexist in a world where it is all fun, happy happy, la la loving when one or the other has to bleed to stabilize the relationship? One or the other has to bend til they break, or choose to accept even though they aren’t happy? You see you can’t. I know the term compromise, I hear it all the time. However there are issues that you simply cannot compromise without giving up who you are, or what you want and need.
The only option, as I see it, you can only love them with every physiological beat and breath, even if it means from afar. Even if it means another individual satisfies them utterly and wholly. Even if you will never be that person to share a life with them. You can only wish happiness upon them, although it breaks your heart to know it isn’t you. Yes, I hold on. I hope, dream, wish and want just like every other floral printed vagina out there. When the time comes, the day is right, and the sunset is perfect. We will happen. It may just be the time is not right. This lifetime may not be right but even a horny, promiscuous bitch has dream.
Kevin W. (Massachusetts) – My girlfriend of 5 years snooped through my phone while I was in the shower and deleted all the numbers of the girls on it. She didn’t tell me after she did it or even asked me if it was okay, should I confront her about it?
What is up with all these pansy questions this month? Fuck it. Your gf is a douchebag that doesn’t respect or trust you. Maybe you’ve done something to lose her trust or maybe she is just a controlling cunt. Whatever it maybe the only way to resolve this is to go into her phone and delete all of the guys she has in it. There, you two are even. But think about it, is that the kinda person you want to marry and spend your life with? A controlling cunt who doesn’t even have the balls to confront you with their issues? She didn’t respect you enough to talk to you about it or respect your decision. So you can stay with the clearly crazed and live a rocky ass life, or dump the bitch and party! You choose.
If you want some shitty advice or to know something about me, please feel free to email your questions to email@example.com. Don’t forget to subscribe, join and like my Facebook. Enjoy!