Guest Article by Brenda P.
It is said that all a woman needs is true love. What they do not tell you is that true love starts with loving yourself, both literally and figuratively. Yes, we are talking about female masturbation, a topic which has been treated with suspicion and anathema for millennia in a male-dominated society. Other than providing relief during those days (or nights) when your partner is not around, masturbation also gives you a chance to explore your body and especially those pleasure spots. You can know for certain what turns you on and what does not so that when you come to enjoying foreplay and the ultimate act, you know exactly what to do to hit the Big “O” with a bang.
Unlike men, women are more careful about the ‘when ‘ and ‘how’ of getting intimate. That is why the following tips have been suggested to help you create the right atmosphere for the act of masturbation, whether you are using your trusty fingers or toys. The tips will also help you perfect the art of masturbation by working out a routine best suited to your sexual proclivities.
1. Getting in the Right Mood
As with normal sex, the first step into creating an explosive climax is creating the right mood. This is easier said than done as women react very differently to sensual stimuli. But the general rule remains the same, being relaxed and away from distractions. For some women, all they need is to get on a comfy bed or couch and they can run on with it. For others, elaborate plans are necessary.
A glass of wine always helps to get rid of inhibitions for starters. It also helps to have a shower first and then applying lotion over your body. The lotion will moisten your skin and make it all the more sensitive to tactile stimulation.
It is also important to wear non-restrictive and comfortable garments or, better still, go without! For all intents and purposes, a wrap-around robe is more than enough. Playing gentle and sensual music may help with getting into the right mood as are dimmed lights or candles. You may also fill the room with a scent or fragrance which helps you get into the right mood.
2. Ensure Complete Privacy
Nothing ruins a sensual session of self-love than unexpected noises or snoopy guests. Plan your masturbation sessions meticulously to ensure nobody arrives unannounced while you are in the middle of it. If you live in a shared house, always do your sessions in your bedroom and make certain the door is locked. For even greater assurance of privacy, do not masturbate when your parents, children or partner is around the house.
Of course, some couples have no inhibitions and some relish the prospect of being caught indulging in something illicit. In that case, all the extra caution may be unnecessary.
3. Select and Clean your Accessories and Toys
While fingers alone will often suffice for women who are just trying out masturbation, it helps to have something else close at hand. You do not need to invest in expensive toys at first (though these help a lot). A simple down feather (plucked from an old stuffed jacket or cushion) does wonders. Vegetables such as carrots and cucumbers also help to provide stimulation. Whatever you find kinky, ensure it is spotlessly clean and fresh (in case of vegetables).
4. Exploring your Pleasure Spots
It is said that up to 60% of all women indulge in some form of self love or another. In all likelihood, this figure represents a gross underestimation considering that female masturbation is considered taboo in almost every culture. For most women who openly admit to having indulged in the act, the reason is invariably to drive off their loneliness. However, masturbation is more pleasurable if you use it as an opportunity to explore your pleasure zones and how you and your partner can turn on the frenzy.
Women, unlike men, have very many erogenous zones. Female masturbation should be a journey of exploration from the tip of your head to your toes (literally!). Begin by touching your upper body, carefully avoiding the obviously sensitive parts such as your breasts. You might be surprised to discover that a light touch behind your ears creates a tingling sensation which travels down your spine and on to the very center of your womanhood.
Close your eyes as you use your fingers and a feather to explore your body. Do not touch your breasts or privates until you have moved the length of your body to the toes. If you find a place where your skin tingles, repeat the motion again and slowly. The most well hidden female erogenous zones are in places like behind the ears, the curve of your neck and jawline, inside the calf, inner thighs and armpits.
After you are through experimenting with your less obvious erogenous zones and taken mental notes, work on your fiery spots beginning with the breasts. Systematically explore your breasts beginning with the outer curvature and then the sensitive tips. Knead and tweak until you have established just which sensations give you the greatest pleasure.
Move on to your outer genitalia and work your way to the inside. Explore your clitoris and work it to a frenzy. Some women love it when the clitoris is stimulated at the head while others love it worked from the base and through its hood. Discover which stimulation works best for you. Only after working your nub to the point where your vagina is well lubricated should you proceed to insert your fingers or toys inside your womanhood.
As you work your toy or fingers, use your free hand to explore the other areas you have identified as erogenous and gradually work yourself to a frenzy. Many women are usually surprised at this point just how easy it is to experience multiple orgasms!
5. Establish a Routine
After several tryst masturbation sessions, you should be able to work out a routine which gives you the best stimulation. The more you explore your body, the better you will enjoy the sensations and the more explosive your self induced orgasms will be. Who knows, after you have perfected your art, you may never need a partner to drive you to ecstasy. That cannot be a bad thing, can it?
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