If Two is a Couple, Three is a Fucking Spree
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If Two is a Couple, Three is a Fucking Spree

Fucking Spree

January in Vegas. The only time of the year that encourages a holiday hiatus from what to come with the winter season’s gift that keeps on giving; Influenza, Pertussis and viruses by the bunches. While we are on the topic of infectious viral outbreaks January isn’t all so bad, given that in Las Vegas that is the month to celebrate America’s Adult Entertainment. One weekend each year every aspiring Smut Slut who is sexy, talented and smart enough to fuck, suck and take it in butt for the right part/person/producer, and not to forget the PornoIMP wanna-be gather in Sin City to:

A) advertise themselves and whichever production company they work for.
B) attend an award show to crown and praise them for all the hard work they seem to enjoy doing.

It’s quite spectacular the diversity between the entertainers and the consumers. Imagine a convention with the most beautiful women on Earth wearing glamorous pieces of cloths, covering as little as they possibly can and then picture a crowd of undersexed, short, smelly, slightly obese and drooling. Each nerd, geek or sex freak has in their hand a top of the line digital SLR or mega ultrasonic HD3D with new scent technology, filming these poor over fucked girls twerking, working or pretend jerking. Yeah, like I said…diverse.

Group E: Pretty Performing Pussies
Group C: Phallic Phat Perverts

I am getting quite tired of hearing myself start each paragraph of my post with my complaints of my health. If I am starting to annoy myself then I am quite certain the repetitious topic has made you weary as well. Therefore I will refrain from mentioning it anymore, ever! Well….except that I am getting a tad bit better so I am planning on a tid bit of venery. Tonight I am going to give it to myself long, hard, raunchy and rough. Oh yeah… and of course I’ll be hoe hunting as well. That said, I am feeling up to try and hit a club tonight. Hopefully it will go better than last time. It is about time I get some new lewd screws to blog (brag) for you guys.

I am cataloging all the porn star parties and events and seeing which ones I will plan to attend. I am also planning on going to the expo this year. I think I’ll pass on the AVN award show. I attended that last year and it was a waste of fucking money! I maybe well to do, but I am still a frugal money saving non-fool…especially this day and age with *ahem* Obama currently in reign. Anyways, I suppose I will fill you in on last year’s AVN experience that way when I top it off you’ll be cheering me on. Please make sure you at least wipe off the jizz on your keyboard before cummenting, MANNERS!

Here goes:
Last year, my first winter in Vegas, and as advertising for all the adult entertainer events permeated the city, I begged X to get us tickets for the AVN. We also had gotten invites to a few parties over the weekend that followed the official events as well.

Friday, we attended a party for a swinger group staying at the Rumor hotel. A small suite had been rented, and after wandering around the hotel, we finally found the event. Hoping that perhaps the out of town influx of people for the convention might improve the quality of “options” as these events, we had high hopes. But when we entered, X and I were crestfallen to find the same mediocre quality of attendees. It was the same assortment of overweight couples, most over fifty, who could have done a lot more to try and make themselves appealing. Even worse, over fifty people were stuffed in a single suite, making the room stuffy and uncomfortable. Only one couple was even bothering to get it on, and were making out on the bed. I was briefly intrigued when another guy got on the other side of the woman, one of the few attractive ones in attendance, but despite some rather impassioned kissing, she steadfastly refused to let either guy even so much as undo her top.

We would have bailed then and there, hitting some clubs and looking for more fertile hunting grounds, but the event was supposed to be attended by a male porn-star who was supposed to demonstrate that he could make five women squirt within a minute. We decided to stick around until this particular challenge occurred and then bail. We fled to a small balcony, hiding ourselves from the lustful stares of the octogenarians. X and I chilled, had a cigarette, and sipped at our drinks as we bantered about the same Aspie shit that we always get engrossed in.
Fortunately, it wasn’t too long of a wait, and the headliner of the party appeared. The porn-star, whom I won’t name, seemed nice enough, and although clearly in shape, his appeal was “cut short” by his diminutive stature that exceeded the threshold for dwarfism by perhaps half an inch. Are all male porn-stars so tiny? Maybe it is intentional. Even a normal sized penis would look large relative to this guy’s size. Very clever porn industry, way to fucking go shattering the ice. Now every time I want to watch a porn star based porn… I won’t be able to contain my laughter!!

X and I planted ourselves close to the balcony, making sure we could jump to freedom with only a few broken bones if we got cornered by any of these couples. The hostess then surveyed the crowd and quickly found not five but six women who were willing to serve as volunteers for the headliner’s challenge.

Like watching a car wreck, we couldn’t turn away as the predominantly postmenopausal pear shaped women stood with nothing below the waste. The porn star did some warm up exercises with his hands, i kid you not, then put on a glove, applied lube, and signaled the hostess to hit the stop watch.

When she did, he swung his hand in a wide arc, burying it between the legs of the first volunteer. Her pot belly precluded any view of what was actually going on, but our headliner gyrated like he was having a seizure for about six seconds, the woman groaned, and then he pulled out the glove and the hostess stopped the timer.

This same sequence was repeated five more times, and apparently the challenge was successfully completed. Not what we were expecting, but still a sort of macabre fascination accompanied the spectacle.
Immediately upon conclusion of this “presentation”, X and I managed to escape through the front door instead of a balcony jump. I don’t recall where we went following, but it must have been equally as lackluster because no one captured my interest, and we called it a night relatively early.

The next night, we attended the AVN awards at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Not knowing what to expect, we dressed to the nine’s, which immediately made us stand out as we picked up our tickets amongst the other (almost all male of course) attendees wearing what would best be described as trailer trash Nunavut. Being female and wearing a dress in this crowd elevated my status to probable adult actress. Security waved me through before anyone was brave enough to ask for my autograph and I dragged X behind me before he decided to pummel anyone who got too rude.

This year I’ll stick to watching the AVN awards on HBO. The acoustics were horrible, and were further sullied by the chants and screams of drunkard porn-star fan boys. We couldn’t discern a quarter of what was said on stage. The watered down film clips were the last straw. What’s with the fucking censorship? Porn-star sensibilities too refined for some close-up cock in pussy shots? X and I left less than twenty minutes into the show.

We changed into more club appropriate attire and attended a private party at Mandalay Bay. The venue was chill and had a great view. The party was in a roped off part of the club with plenty of privacy and space. The party attendees consisted of a some porn-stars I recognized, several groups of women, and a few couples, thankfully better looking and younger than the nursing home field trip we attended the previous night. We practiced our neurotypical emulation banter with frequent breaks to the balcony to smoke. A couple of martini’s later, and the banter was easier, and I feeling up to shaking my ass.

Well, I failed my reflex saving throw, thanks to the -4 penalty to my dexterity for taking the Asperger trait. When I turned to give X a sultry “fuck me right here, right now, really hard” look, my hand struck another thin Asian woman who, in retrospect, seemed to be dancing awfully close to me. I apologized, but she hardly seemed upset, and after a few polite comments on shit I supposed neurotypicals seem to care about, she had the very good idea to go to the bar and get another drink. I motioned for X to hand me my purse, but he told us to keep dancing and instead asked us both want we wanted. He turned to a nearby Asian man, who I swear looked like a the 30 year younger clone of Michio Kaku, and appeared to get a third drink order. X returned, and we sat. The woman, Sukyu, and her husband, who not apparently only looked like theoretical physicist, but also possessed the social skills of one as well. He was so unworthy that I cannot recall his name, so he will henceforth be referred to as the Asian Sidekick.

Sukyu did all the talking while Sidekick flicked his hair every few minutes and pulled out a fresh cigarette. The couple was from the Bay Area, In town for the weekend as her husband a filmmaker who in some manner was connected to the AVN gathering. I refrained from asking him any Quantum Physics questions, which are ambiguous enough without trying to articulate them during your third martini. X and I commenced some flirty groping of each other under the table while we engaged Sukyu and stayed out of the way of Sidekicks hair. Sukyu seemed similarly determined to maintain her distance from him, and although I didn’t sense any overt tension, they didn’t behave at all like a couple. Maybe the cloning process left him brain defective or something. Anyhow, upon learning we were headed to the same party after, she invited us to join them for a drink in their room stating she had to change for the party.

It was pretty clear where this was headed, and poor Sukyu looked like Sidekick wasn’t takin care o Bidness, so I decided to help out my fellow tribeswoman. Our hostess made us drinks and made sure to plant herself on the bed near where we were seated while sidekick grabbed the remote, another pack of cigarettes, grunted once, then sat back and channel surfed until finding an American Idol rerun which totally engrossed him from that point on.

We had just started to nurse our drinks and Sukyu, without a word of warning, removed her blouse and leaned over and kissed me. Aggressive. My kind of girl. As I have stated in previous posts, X being over six feet tall tends to be intimidating, and it is far easier for me to sneak in under the sexual radar to get the target bitch moist. Plus, he kept looking over to Asian Sidekick, making sure it was understood that my kitty was XX chromosome entry tonight. Like clone-boy cared. I think he was too busy taking notes on the hairstyles of the singing contestants.

Well X didn’t intimidate Sukyu. We weren’t even naked before she beckoned him over to sit next to her. Awkwardly, he moved, but made sure to sit closer to me and took my hand. She was glaring right at X’s package, but he was clueless, and instead began kissing me. Sukyu continued to undress both me and herself. I found her rather obvious interest in X a bit rude, and decided to rub it in by giving her a view of his unsheathed magnitude before I took him inch by inch, oh so tenderly and in slow motion….before I forced it completely down my throat. When he was deep down against the lining of my esophagus, I managed to aim for his balls taken both of.

She must have been deprived from any kind of sexual contact, because she didn’t skip a beat, and launched her tongue straight into my ass at it bounced up and down in conjunction with head movements. Sukyu lived up to her name, and knew her away around a vagina. My first orgasm was pleasant enough, but I was ready for something larger inside my kitty now. I turned as X positioned himself, spreading Sukyu’s legs and returning the favor. I paused in my tongue motions, awaiting the brief pain of my kitty stretching to accommodate the good doctor. Once that passed, I resumed, bringing our hostess to climax as I enjoyed the slapping of balls against my own sex.

Sukyu withdrew to watch us, and although I would have loved to witness her gagging on X’s cock, god knows what Sidekick would expect and besides, I was enjoying it too much to share.

I climaxed a second time, doing so before X. This time, I melted into it, followed by a wave of shudders that consumed me from head to toe. I collapsed onto the bed, and X followed, climaxing shortly afterward

Upon recovering my senses, I began to pull back on my clothes and see what the other couple was doing. Sukyu was fingering herself, and Sidekick was in the same position on the bed. I wondered briefly if maybe he shared the same off switch as Data from Star Trek, but then he flicked his hair again.

Sukyu dressed and offered another round of drinks for the road as we finished freshening up for the next party. As I finished up, I heard X on the phone. When I left the restroom, he informed me one of his friends car battery had died at a neighboring hotel. He offered to help and I told Sukyu we would only be a few minutes and would meet her at the party.

After the brief interlude of good samaritanship, we returned and went to the elevators. Suki, sidekick, and another couple were talking, and she greeted us warmly as she saw us. She introduced us to the other couple, a shorter, slight guy in a suit who looked like he was named Fred, and a curvy brunette who was busy putting makeup using the reflection in the elevator. Sukyu sadly told us the party had been called off, but begged us to return to her room. What the Hell, I was ready to a second round of hide the salami with X.

Upon entering his room, the sidekick shaped indentation in the bed did not remain empty for long. I fixed X and myself a drink and sat on his lap. We smoked a cigarette and decided to observe and study the interaction of neurotypical in the wild.

Fred looking guy commenced to talk about how his wife was everything to him, how he loved her so much, and bla bla bla. Wifey didn’t so much as look in his direction. She and Sukyu locked eyes and shimmied out of their clothes before like-Fred could stop talking about long enough to let his jaw drop. X started snickering as the two naked woman began to sixty-nine each other to the shock of her husband. I began to make out with X, but Sukyu called me over. Two naked women with dripping kitties. Why not. I took turns lending my tongue to the efforts of each girl to make the other climax. I felt kinda bad for like-Fred, and sidekick was looking over showing signs of sentience, and didn’t feel like taking things further.

My kitty was ready for another round of abuse from Gigantor™ and after a lovely few minutes of dick and ball sucking I climbed on cowgirl style and rode my stallion to orgasm three and four. Sukyu looked like she had found a new soul-mate, her arms wrapped around lipstick chick as they nuzzled, while Like-Fred stammered incoherency. Whatever malfunction had sparked to life the sidekick automaton had been snuffed back out, and the hair flicking resumed at regular intervals.

X and I redressed ourselves, and decided we had enough notes on neurotypicals for the time being. We exchanged the ritualistic neurotypical farewell gestures and departed. I was anxious to get X back to somewhere where we could spread out and not to trip out while doing so. I also wanted to fall back into my bed after X fucked, pillaged, and plowed me into orgasmic submission for O number six then perhaps seven.

I know, boring! I was drunk most of that night and I have to admit the trifecta of tits, tongue and carpet munching wasn’t that fun. Had it been me, those two women and X the night would’ve been loads more gratifying. Nevertheless, I haven’t slept for quite sometime now and if I am to party, plow and pillage some sweet pussy, be lewd and debauchery tonight I need my rest and relaxation…After a quick masturbation!

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Jayde Onyx Lei

Blogger/Writer at Raw, Lewd & Indecent
Http://rawlewdindecent.com/about
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