A Guy’s Guide to the Differences Between Us and Women
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A Guy’s Guide to the Differences Between Us and Women

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Article Written By: Dr X

Men are from Earth, Women are from Krypton.

Why do I say that? Because women have super-powers. And no, I am not referring any of the jokes you may have heard about them getting wet without water, bleeding without a cut, making boneless meat hard, or making guys eat without cooking food. No! I mean honest to goodness, seemingly defying the laws of physics, quasi-supernatural SUPER-FUCKING-POWERS!

I’m am completely serious on this point. Women continually astound me with the use of their abilities To quote the great Harry Dresden (Pardon me, but I must genuflect at the mention of his name):

I read an article once that said that when women have a conversation, they’re communicating on five levels. They follow the conversation that they’re actually having, the conversation that is specifically being avoided, the tone being applied to the overt conversation, the buried conversation that is being covered only in sub-text, and finally the other person’s body language.
That is, on many levels, astounding to me. I mean, that’s like having a freaking superpower. When I, and most other people with a Y chromosome, have a conversation, we’re having a conversation. Singular. We’re paying attention to what is being said, considering that, and replying to it. All these other conversations that have apparently been going on for the last several thousand years? I didn’t even know that they existed until I read that stupid article, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one.

So, ladies, if you ever have some conversation with your boyfriend or husband or brother or male friend, and you are telling him something perfectly obvious, and he comes away from it utterly clueless? I know it’s tempting to thing to yourself, ‘The man can’t possibly be that stupid!’
But yes. Yes, he can.
Our innate strengths just aren’t the same. We are the mighty hunters, who are good at focusing on one thing at a time. For crying out loud, we have to turn down the radio in the car if we suspect we’re lost and need to figure out how to get where we’re going. That’s how impaired we are. I’m telling you, we have only the one conversation. Maybe some kind of relationship veteran … can do two, but that’s pushing the envelope. Five simultaneous conversations? Five?
Shah. That just isn’t going to happen.
And that’s just one ability women have! There’s more! For instance, why is it women always know where I put my car keys when I can’t freaking remember? She could be across the house when I get home, yet somehow she knows. Or why the hell can they remember what the fuck I wore on our first date a decade ago? Like how that is relevant to anything? But their super-brains retain that shit. Disagree? Then tell me why statistically they live so much longer than us? They are more likely to survive in a car accident than us. Hell, I even read a study somewhere that women park cars better than men. And yes, I agree with the rest you. Best of all they have breasts.

So what can I do better than a woman? Read a map. Read a frickin’ map?! Really?! Big fucking deal. Find me a map to my lost car keys and maybe that might be helpful.

The fact of the matter is that women’s brain are just wired differently than a mans. They are innately more social, are superior at picking up social cues, are more aware of objects around them, and have more empathy.

Social factors account for these differences you say? You claim women and men are different because society brings them up differently, and because they are treated differently. Well, Poppycock I say back!. I grant you that, just looking at differences by themselves, determining causation, being either nature vs. nurture, is impossible. In fact, this has been an ongoing debate among the researchers in this field for decades, if not longer. But most would agree that it is increasingly clear that the many of the differences, at least with respect to cognitive factors, are, in fact, almost entirely due to genetic/congenital factors.

The basis for this? A few enterprising researchers were able to study a small group of children whom genetically were one sex, but were raised as the other. Chromosomes won out, with boy toys more with the genetically male and girl toys with the genetic females. Another study demonstrated that as early as at birth girls gaze longer at a face, whereas suspended mechanical mobiles, rather than faces kept boys’ attention for longer.

From my own experience having a boy and girl twin raised in the same house, the same room, even the same bed for the first several months, toy preference was at less than six months. There environments were nearly identical, yet the girl was into makeup and Barbie at less than one year of age and the boy was into trucks and tools, and loved to watch me take apart my computer and tinker with it.

Aspergers syndrome, arguably the next stage in human evolution (I kid, I kid), has been hypothesized to be the manifestation of an extreme male brain. Aspie boys have been termed to be “male and then some” because the traits they excel in tend be associated with men more than women. Aspie’s tend to be superior than neurotypical in mathematical and spatial reasoning, the ability to discriminate details from a complex whole.

Female associated cognitive traits are where Asperger males have trouble. Us Aspie’s are at higher risk for language impairment, suck at social-judgment tasks, and our ability to express empathy and cooperation is nothing to write home about. Where typical men may be less able than women to make social judgments or empathize with others, people with an Autism Spectrum Disorder are literally disabled in these areas.

Women Aspie’s can be an aversion to the concept of femininity and are noted to sometimes prefer more utilitarian garments that are comfortable and may have lots of pockets. Female with Asperger’s syndrome often do not to exhibit some of the more ‘bitchy’ behavior associated with adolescent girls. Many are self described as having a greater understanding and appreciation of the interests, thinking and humor of boys.

At the same time, the natural “wiring” of the female brain for social interaction makes female Aspie’s dramatically less impaired than Aspie males. Asperger’s in females is notoriously more difficult to diagnose, and almost all are diagnosed later in life. Certainly I don’t mean to minimize the difficulties female Aspie’s can have, but the manifestation are much more subtle, and the social impairment is a degree of magnitude below that of Aspie males. It speaks volumes as to what degree one’s innate social abilities benefit from just being female.

Looking back at neurotypical brains, and the overall differences between men and women on a population bases, studies looking at I.Q differences between the sexes have almost universally concluded that their are none. Men and Women are equally intelligent (or equally dumb for you misanthrope out there). Of notable interest, however, is that male I.Q. scores tended to be much more variable than female scores. So that means if someone is either really really smart, or really really stupid, chances are it’s a dude.

Females brains, overall are better at recalling olfactory and auditory stimuli, names, experiences, faces, and locations of objects in space.

Men test significantly better than women when it come to spatial abilities.

Warning: technical discussion to follow:

The most prominently mentioned explanation as to the development of this discrepancy phenotypically is that spatial skills bestowed increased fitness on primitive males because it improved their ability to hunt big game. This hypothesis is clearly absurd, however, if one gives this idea more than even a moments thought.

First of all, conferring advantage of such a ubiquitously useful trait to such a narrow fitness niche as being a better hunter makes no sense. The ability to conceptualize three dimensional relationships is fundamental to our ability to function in three dimensional space. I can’t even imagine how impaired someone would be without any manifestation of this ability. I suspect it would be almost universally lethal in early childhood, making basic tasks such as eating, drinking, and self grooming absurdly difficult, and moving around the environment a moment by moment invitation for disaster.

Secondly, environmentally induced sexual dimorphism do not persist in populations in stable environments. Only dimorphic traits that have to do with reproduction are maintained in a stable population. Success in hunting is clearly an example of environmental selection . Conceptualizing why the trait of spatial conceptualization would be reproductively linked just seems to result in absurd possibilities. The improved spatial conceptualization ability allows us to put our penises in vagina’s better? Maybe for Ron Jeremy.

But the dimorphism is present, and does persist, so then how is it reproductively selected. Most likely it is the surface manifestation of a deeper process, perhaps related to cognitive organization which must be reproductively linked, or else an expression of one or more of the processes responsible for sexual differentiation, and thus may be independent of any fitness advantage.

Technical discussion concluded

Overall, women tend to report more intense emotional responses, both positive and negative emotions, compared to men. Women experience more frequent and more intensely feelings of joy, love, embarrassment, guilt, shame, sadness, anger, fear, and distress. No surprise to anybody, women communicated more intense feelings or anger than men. Hell, just writing that sentence worries me about how many women I just pissed off.

Pride, however is more frequently and more intensely experienced by men.

Men are more Machiavellianism than woman, and are able to better detach from a situation, removing considerations of morality, affect. and empathy in decision making. This may explain why men are more prone to commit crimes.

Interestingly, it does not appear that men are inherently more aggressive than females. Woman, though, are more likely to use direct aggression in private, and indirect aggression in public. This change in a behavior being so influenced by social context suggests this dimorphic difference is likely environmentally induced. Why might this be the case. Well, men are more likely than women to be the targets of displays of aggression and provocation, perhaps forcing them to be more directly aggressive in public. It wouldn’t surprise me also if this arose because of a cultural stigma against direct aggressive behavior coming from females.

As already mentioned, males engage in more crime than females, especially violent crimes. There does appear to be positive correlation between testosterone levels and adult criminality, alcoholism, and anti-social behavior. Pathological gambling is twice as common in men than in women. Aggression and testosterone levels, however, have not been shown to be correlated. Go figure.

Finally with respect to sexuality, the literature yields no surprises as to how men and women differ. Yes, Virginia, men really do show greater sexual desire than do women. I emphasize this is a description of the average of the population, and not applicable to any single specific woman. Women also place greater emphasis on commitment as a context for sexuality than do men. And sexual aggressiveness is more strongly linked to men than women.

Interestingly, sexuality seems to be much more fluid in women than men. For instance, the female sex drive is much more variable than that of men, and is influenced far more by environmental circumstances. Woman also have a greater variation in level of sexual activity and in sexual preference. Cultural factors has a much stronger impact on female sexual behavior.

So is the basis of the differences in men and womens’ sexual behavior? Is it primarily biological, psychological or else socio-cultural? No doubt to some degree, all are three are involved . But the jury seems to be still out on which is the most prominent. In my experience, female sexual desire is heavily influenced by socio-cultural factors. I site the entire state of California as proof. Which begs the next question, why the hell are we shooting ourselves in the foot guys?! Who the hell is perpetuating this sexual shyness in women and what the hell for?! We need to foster a culture that does encourages women to have sex at every turn. Sign me up for that revolution! Hell, I’ll lead it! I’ll even get Jayde to post a petition…

On that note, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OL61JreooRk

-X.

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