Signs of Psycho
A note of warning, I am making no effort to be politically correct with the “personality challenged” among us. I will freely be tossing around the term psycho, crazy, bat-shit insane, and other similar synonyms. It’s for your own good, damn crazy people! If you are offended reading this, then STOP HERE!
The rest of you, please proceed. So why is knowing the signs of crazy important? Because I would assume that if you’re dating, you don’t want to be ambushed by the agony and heartache a woman with a personality disorder can inflict upon you. It is important to be aware of the red flags that a crazy women may inadvertently wave at you. I mean, she isn’t going to just announce they are a psychologically damaged bitch who will ruin your life. You think you have the savvy to pick up on these people? Maybe so, maybe not. Many personality disorders suffers have fairly sophisticated social skills, and are actively predatory. Like all predators have, they have developed their instincts to be able to sense who is vulnerable in the herd.
It is literally a mine field out there. Sooner or later, if you date at all, you will encounter a crazy woman in one form or another. Personality disorders are just that pervasive. And women trend towards the types of personality disorders that are harder to pick up on. Even if you are “clued on cues” and actively on the lookout, these woman may well pick up on your alertness. Hopefully she moves on to someone less vigilant, but she may not if she is sufficiently motivated. Odds are good, you being only a man and thus a social moron, that if she puts on her best behavior, she will pull it off. Clue’s will slip through. Chicks pick up about 10 social cues for every one a guy gets. And it’s too easy to let things slide when you are early in a new relationship and possibly infatuated.
Just being male puts us at risk. As men, we are attracted to appearance. That is what first grabs our attention and we, in general, are willing to overlook quite a few things if a woman is attractive enough. On top of that, crazy chicks are good in bed. So we have a hot fuck muffin giving us regular freaky sex and life is good. There is a natural tendency to avoid the negatives when you are getting an awesome blowjob It’s a scientific fact – I did the study myself. To make things even more difficult, if somehow your sex addled mind does begin to sense some of the red flags filtering through , these women can be very good at manipulating the right emotions to throw you off the scent.
As men, we have a natural disadvantage in picking up the social cues that might warn us of someone’s hidden agenda. At the same time you are concentrating all your effort and you finally think you picked one up,, she’s already read you with less effort than she did the last issue of Cosmo, and is making plans and adjustments to make sure your behavior continues to suit her purposes.
You can fight fire with fire however. Normal women can spot a crazy one from miles away (or kilometers in the case of our Canadian friends). I reference my last article on women superpowers. I could try to explain this by opining how women understand other women, that women grow up competing against other women so are naturally more suspicious, or just that women pick up more social cues than we do. But the truth is, I don’t know how they do it. But they just do and by accepting that fact, you will avoid a lot of headaches by paying attention to what the women in your life actually try to tell you.
But come on. We are men. Since when do we ever listen? The crazy woman is hot and giving us sex – and I mean freaky sex! The normal woman won’t even touch your dick. Who are you more motivated to believe? Normal women know this. They know everything. In the time it took you to read the last paragraph, she saw you glance at her breasts no less than six times. You probably don’t even remember doing it. If she said her peace and you aren’t receptive, then there is nothing else she can do. So most of the time they will just keep their mouth shut until you are ready to listen. Then it’s a lot of “I told you so’s and “how could you not see this coming’s. Then you just shrug and say you have a Y chromosome and that explains it all. Because it does.
Now everyone has degrees of negative personality traits. And like anything else, personality disorders fall on a spectrum. Not every woman with obsessive-compulsive traits needs to be written off. In fact, most don’t. And many (most?) woman can be moody, and that doesn’t make her a borderline. But to actually qualify as having a personality disorder, those traits are manifesting with enough strength and with enough negative impact that it interferes with the woman’s ability to cope with life. It is a bit of a fallacy to say that a woman with a personality disorder is going to have a difficult time with relationships, so much as the woman’s personality disorder is defined by the fact that it her negative traits are making it nearly impossible for her to handle a relationship.
An academic distinction to be sure. The bottom line is she is going to have difficulties handling the day-to-day stresses of life, and has developed some pathological ways of coping with those stresses. Personality disorders very often (but NOT ALWAYS) impact the way the woman will not only interact with you, but with everyone else in her life as well. One of the biggest clues you can actively pursue is delving into a love-interests psychological health is finding out about the interactions she has with others in her life. Relationships with other people; past romances, friends, coworkers, and family members will very likely be strained if she is up there on the crazy scale. You can’t look into someone’s mind directly, so gathering this information can help peace things together.
Big deal, you may think. So what if someone has a personality disorder, why is that a problem? The main reason is if she does have a personality disorders, she will be ultimately unable, unwilling, or else incapable of addressing your needs. Even worse, sooner or later she will serve you up in pursuit of filling her own needs. Despite this, there are guys out there who seem to jump from one crazy woman to the next. You may even be one of those guys, and not know why it keeps happening to you.
I’ll tell you why. It’s the sex. Crazy women are among the best chicks to get into bed. Let’s face it, a woman who brings home two hot strippers and wants you to help her fuck them is probably not coming from the normal side of the tracts. She will do all that stuff you see in those movies, and hell, she may have even been in those movies. If you are going to tell me that as you are currently enjoying being public ally servicing the set of twins kindly provided to you by your lover right after she tied you up and began masturbating with the biggest dildo you have ever seen, that all the other shit you have to deal with; the stalking, the public drunkenness, the drug use, and her rampant irresponsible behavior is a good trade-off, then I can’t disagree That is a good argument. I can’t counter it. Fucking stop reading this article and go have a great time for Christ’s sake.
The other possibility you keep finding yourself with psycho’s is that you have embraced the rescuer role. In this is the case, you have some pathology of your own you may want to work out. That abused, misunderstood, having to walk six miles in snow uphill both to and from school little lost sheep may seem to you that she is just needing someone to truly love her, but maybe the fact that she got drunk and crashed your car into a school bus full of orphans for the second time should be a clue to you in that she really doesn’t want to change. Clearly she isn’t considering your needs. Or at least your car insurance bills.
Or it could be that you are addicted to the highs and lows that come with this kind of relationship. Life’s is too boring with drama free women. You are aware that the dynamic will never get better. You don’t care. Or you are in it for the short-term and are willing to risk the wrath of the psycho when you walk away. That works for some guys. If that is what gets you off, good luck with that.
Assuming you DON’T want your life filled with never-ending drama and you DO want to date people who have a healthy respect for you as a person, then perhaps being on the look out for warning signs may be useful. But with so many different kinds of personality disorders, you would think it might be difficult to keep tract of all the possible permutations of crazy that may be going on. Actually, not so. Many of these personality disorders bleed-over into each other, manifesting traits of multiple types in one person. Additionally, even disorders which have vastly different areas of cognitive involvement often lead to similar types of reactive behaviors. For example, paranoid and borderline have a very different basis for their pathological thoughts, but one common way both types attempt to deal with their deficiencies and insecurities in relationships is by exerting controlling behavior, which is fairly uniform in how it is employed.
And so on to what clues to look out for:
It’s normal for someone to manifest some slight jealousy, but if the woman you are dating is displaying aggressive behavior every time you interact with another woman, that is a big sign you may be dealing with a pathological personality. An even bigger red flag is present is she is demanding you end relationships with every other female in your life
Early Stalking Behavior.
Is your new love interest calling or texting several times a day, asking where you are? Has she either asked, demanded, or installed on her own into your phone a tracking app just to “reassure her” in case you are in a car crash or eaten by zombies or something? Does she check your Facebook page several times a day? These are not good signs. This is an early display of controlling behavior. It’s an even worse sign if she is getting irate by the third or fourth time she fails to get a hold of you within a short amount of time.
Other Signs of Controlling Behaviors.
With yourself and even with others, your girlfriend seems to control all of your conversations she is a part of, and won’t let up until she can get everyone in the conversation to agree with her.
A disrespectful or arrogant tone, and being pushy and dictatorial when dealing with a store clerk or server.
Excessive nagging. She insists that “if you don’t do X,” then the sky will fall down or her vagina will fall off, or something equally as calamitous will happen. She will even tell you all very sweetly, yet with some deranged expectation that you’ll be grateful for the reminders. (Because if I remind here she looks fat in that dress, she will be grateful right?) Bottom line, decisions are being made without your input “for your own good”
Sudden and Dramatic Mood Shifts.
Does your girlfriend seem all over the map mood-wise? At noon, she is acting her dog just died but has no reason for her sadness, and then at 5pm she acts like she has won the lottery? That is indicative of mood instability.
She Attempts to Isolate You.
Is your girlfriend sick whenever you want to spend time with your family or friends? Are you made to feel guilty when you do want to go? She glares whenever you mention any of your friends, and every time she gets a chance, she hints that she thinks your buddies are shit. But you got a pair, so you go out with your friends anyway, and a little while later she calls you to makes sure you are aware of the guy she is hanging out with it the ones you can’t stand because he always brags to you about having a shot with her even when she’s with you. Yea, bad sign.
Seems Lacking in Supportive Behaviors.
Do the women in your life seem to disappear when the times get tough. When things aren’t going your way, does your girlfriend pile on the grief instead of making you feel better? Yes but she just is like that. She really likes me, she is just the sarcastic type. Really? So that’s just how she is, right? She is just the sarcastic type? Well, since she enjoys sarcasm so much, try giving her a taste of her own medicine, and see how much she appreciates it.
Refuses to Admit Guilt.
You will notice she always seems to have the upper hand in arguments, and refuses to admit her faults or accept that she is wrong. She denies things she did or said, or blames you for her behaviors when she steps out of line.
Early planning out of your life.
If very early on, (perhaps even a first date), she is asking a million questions, wanting to know everything about your life, if you want kids, do you like the name Fred etc. then be aware. Keep your call phone handy. If on the next date she get is attempting to get you committed to her, then you need to think about getting her committed to somewhere else. Inside her head, she is already planning out your whole life – kids names, marriage, where you are going for your honeymoon. We are going to Belleview, honey. Bye now.
Excessive and early Involvement.
It takes time to fall in love with someone. If intense feelings and attention are directed at you early on, it suggests she may be projecting. There is a good chance her intense interest is more about her than about her own needs.
She fluctuates between adoring you and devaluing you.
If your girlfriend is one minute mean and critical and then gives you glimpses of how sweet and loving she can be, start packing your shit. Confused because you see glimpses of a wonderful person you first fell in love with but you are beginning to feel more and more bad about yourself? Get the hell out. I’m not kidding. Don’t pass go. Don’t collect $200 dollars. You will spend it on therapy afterwards anyway. Save yourself from the psychological damage. These people are toxic with a capital T.
Types of Personality Disorders:
There is a range of types of personality disorders. Cluster A are those whom manifest with odd or unusual behaviors. Cluster B suffer from over emotional or very dramatic behavior, and Cluster C are those with fearful behaviors and phobias. Some of them are socially isolated and you will never encounter them. Some present so obviously that “hints” are not necessary. I have tried to highlight the ones that you run the most risk in falling in with.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
If Satan was dating a narcissist, he would abdicate his throne as he soon discovered there was something more evil out there. This is by far the worst personality disorder order you can encounter. The only reason antisocial personalities are so fucked up is because they all have narcissistic personalities as well. If you have an inkling that you are with a narcissist, don’t risk it a moment more. Extract yourself. They WILL NEVER see you as anything but a tool to feed their egos.
The core abnormality of the Narcissists is a complete lack of empathy. Many of their other traits stem from this: a pervasive feeling of entitlement, as seeing herself as “above the rules,” and as seeing other people as appendages.
Long term romantic relationships with a narcissist WILL BE psychologically damaging to the partner. The narcissist sole goal is her herself. She will exploit you in any way she sees fit to get what she wants. If she doesn’t get everything she needs through subtle means, she will not hesitate to take a more direct approach. No regard exists for her partners feelings and interests in any way. There will be no open exchanges. Nothing will be fair or honest.
Why would anyone begin a relationship with someone with these traits? Because narcissists begin by being wonderful and loving. These people are not stupid, and are the paragons of predators. They are the T-rex’s of personalities disorders. You see Jurassic Park? Well, you don’t want to be the lawyer in the toilet right?
To get their way, the Narcissist known you have to be emotionally engaged with her. It is only after you are invested enough that she will begin to exert control. When this happens, she will turn from the sweetest, most loving person you have known into someone who is cold and hateful, lacking in any remorse. This begins to happen more and more often, as you are isolated, and your ego is systematically disassembled. The partners hang on, getting enough glimpses of the good side to keep them motivated, as the narcissist makes you feel more and more worthless.
Clues that you may be dealing with a narcissist can be hard to pick up. Be hesitant of anyone who comes across as exceedingly charming. Or if you are having a tough time with a particular issue, and a woman comes along and presents herself as your savior. Overly dramatic gifts and gestures after just having met. Grandiose gestures, such as buying dinner for the entire group. There is great truth in the adage that if something is too good to be true, it usually is.
Watch more closely. Does your love interest make elitist comments about those “beneath her” is she arrogant towards servers and clerks?. You find the conversation always seems to come back to her. At criticism does she shut down or sulk, or rage?
At that point, don’t wait to confirm any further. just get away quickly. Once you have called off the relationship, do not give in. You are best off to not engage her in any way. There are just no limits to the lengths a scorned narcissist will go to punish you for damaging her ego. They will hold nothing back. They will use the kids, they will lie, they will call the police on you. Fake your death and move overseas if you must. It’s worth it.
Antisocial Personality Disorder
Also known as a sociopath, the hallmark of this Cluster B-type personality is a lack of remorse. Having any healthy relationship with someone with this disorder is impossible because they on view you only as a means to an end. Although this disorder is also more common in men, it is a common enough condition that there is a good chance you will encounter it in a woman you meet (4% of the population, 1/4 of whom are female). This is made even more likely because antisocial personalities are so socially savvy, and are masters at acting in a manner that disarms those around them.
It will be much harder for you to pick up on your date being a sociopath than it will be a paranoid personality. If you are already courting her, you’ve already been identified as prey, and all her considerable manipulative skills are being employed to reel you in. The sociopath will start-out very charismatic and charming, flattering you at every turn. If you are particularly on the ball, this will be your first clue that something is amiss. The flattering is too over the top, too easily given, and as a result will likely seem false.
Socially, she will be always have something to say, and work the room better than a pickup artist. She will be smooth. Very frikkin smooth. She will make a special effort to charm anyone you are close with. If you watch her closely, it may disturb you how she seems to assumes a different role with each the different people she talk with, and then just as easily casts them off the persona to assume another one.
Another thing you may notice is that you hardly ever fight with her. No matter what you decide, she easily changes her mind too to accommodate you.
If you are to have a chance of escape, you will have to force yourself to try to see past their superficial exterior. But that will be impossible if you have no reason to suspect there is a problem. Some early warning signs will be the constant, dramatic stories in which inevitably she portrays herself as the heroine, the titan of industry, or a friend to all mankind. The tales will she tells will always center on herself, as remarkable and a huge success in some way. You will notice she always has to be the center of attention. Pay attention to the stories. They may seem a bit too larger than life, to be completely believed. Other details in the stories may cause suspicion as well. If she was such a success, why has she moved around so much? And what is with the bragging? Truly exceptional people don’t feel the need to brag.
The relationship will seem to be moving forward at a very fast pace. The intensity of the attention does not let up, but, in fact, will subtly grow more intrusive. You may notice most of your free time has dissipated,, and without meaning to, you have started neglecting your friends. And you begin to wonder why she has never paid you back all the times she’s had to borrow money for some emergency or another.
By now, your suspicions may really be starting to take hold. You are questioning why someone so charismatic doesn’t have any friends, and perhaps wondering why you have never met any of her friends she talks about. If you press her, you are met with excuses, that, as always, are smooth, or else she changes the subject. If you press even more, pulling on the threads of the inconsistencies, you learn that the lies are more pervasive than you ever imagined.
When you dig deeper, the lies unravel more and more. Then she will play the victim card, blaming you for not being more supportive of her past trauma. When this doesn’t work, she will become suddenly ill, and tries to use her vulnerability to bond with you. Finally, she is backed into a corner, and has no choice but to admit to all the lies. She cries and pleads with you, , promising never to do it again, her explanations making almost logical sense when explains why she lied so much.
But of course the lies don’t end. Nor does the manipulation, the immaturity, nor the never taking of any fault. But what really gets to you is the continuing drama. It sucks away your will, even as she is seemingly addicted to it. Almost everything she does or gets involved with leads to a big production, usually a display of anger or conflict, as if she is the living avatar of turmoil.
This is a pretty classic description of how a relationship with an antisocial personality will develop. All sociopath are narcissists, so you have that pleasure of dealing with as well. You are with a person who is actively using you, does not love you, is getting off on the fact they are lying to you and taking advantage of you, and has absolutely no regrets nor compuncture about doing so. It can be hard to imagine someone being so manipulative, and frankly, evil. That is why it can be so hard to believe.
Other common features often present with this personality type that will you clues as to whom you are dealing with. As already mentioned, anyone with antisocial personality disorders will be a narcissist, and will share the behaviors and traits as was already discussed with that personality disorder. Additionally, sociopath tend to have addictive personalities, and abuse drugs, alcohol, sex, or all three. They tend to impulsive, which is often where they make mistakes and reveal themselves. They also manifest an active dislike for taking any responsibility.
These people can be exceedingly dangerous. Without any sense of guilt or regret, there aren’t any lines they won’t cross if it’s in her interest to do so. It is not just that they don’t view you as a person, nor that they lack any sort of compassion. They are possessed by a drive to take advantage of people, the system, or anything that makes them feel superior. It is as if they need to inflict pain or harm.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Another relatively common personality disorder you are apt to encounter is the borderline, because it is quite prevalent in women. Suffers of BPD are unstable, and impulsive , and switch from periods of elation to periods of depression, although not to the degree that you see in bipolar disorder. Relationships with borderline tend to be intense and stormy and they can go from idealizing you to despising you with frightening rapidity.
Borderline personalities tend to stem from the same childhood trauma’s that produce narcissist. However, instead of forgoing empathy and externalizing their need to control, borderline’s instead saddle themselves with guilt, and thus view themselves as fundamentally worthless. Whereas narcissists are some of the worst people you will ever meet, borderlines can be some of the most sensitive and caring women despite their pathology. For many men, especially the ones who like to “rescue women” these qualities make borderlines very appealing. And they are often great friends and are can be very exciting women to date. But the pathology they suffer is extremely self-destructive, and while they can be capable of empathy, it is difficult for these women to see past the shell of self-hatred where they are cocoon. They have to expend so much energy just dealing with the crushing feelings of self loathing that there is none left to expand on trying to address your needs.
At their core, these women perceive themselves as flawed, and somehow broken and worthless. They are thus driven to excessive lengths to try to quell the pain they live with constantly. This leads to a great deal of self harmful behaviors that are engaged in just to escape the pain, even though this reprieve is only for a brief while. The list of maladaptive actions is long and varied, but may include excessive spending, promiscuity, gambling, drug and alcohol abuse, shoplifting, overeating , physically self-damaging gestures, and even suicide.
Borderlines tend not to be difficult to spot. They are not actively trying to deceive you and their self-hatred, while not necessarily outright announced, is evident if you spend any amount of time in one’s company. Classically, a borderline you being a romantic relationship with will almost idealizes you to an unhealthy degree. She will have sex with you by the first or second date, and will try very hard to please you in bed, and seems to enjoy sex more than most women. She will buy very nice, very expensive gifts, very early in the relationship, and announce that she “loves” you, often within the first few dates. But this isn’t real love. It’s about what she feels about herself, not about you. Ask her about en ex, and inevitably, she will go on and on about what a bad person he was. She will likely at the very least accuse him of being abusive. She is almost certainly exaggerating. She no doubt was as intense with him as she now is with you. But she cannot see past her own prison of worthlessness, and resents the rejection without giving any thought that her ex certainly had plenty of reasons to be angry, frustrated, confused, and even hurt by her treatment of him. She may have even have been unfaithful to him, but justifies this in her own mind, even while bashing him for cheating on her.
You will find her to be very jealous, often raging at the mention of another woman, and become almost delusional in a belief that you are being unfaithful. Jealousy, or often some other trigger will lead to bouts of extreme anger.
A relationship with a borderline can be very trying. Even though they are not actively trying to take advantage of you, they own emptiness is so overwhelming that they are incapable of addressing your needs nor of manifesting empathy on all but rare occasions. It is the self-destructive behavior that can be so damaging to relationships, and the impulsivity of borderline’s makes any promises to quit unlikely to be adhered to. Still, it is not hopeless. Medications can help, and if she is able to achieve some degree of insight into her own behaviors, and if she is actually and truly willing to try to change, then anything is possible.
Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
This is a Cluster C personality disorder which manifests with people who need to adhere to very rigid rules and routines. Most people are familiar enough with this type of personality from the media. Spontaneity is difficult for these people, and those with OCD often set extremely high standards for themselves. She can be very self-critical of themselves.
Because of their perfectionism, they are hard workers and are often successful. They take care of themselves and typically dress well. They’re can be helpful, relied upon, do not miss work and are neat and clean and organized.
Problems with relationships can arise because of their rigidity and lack of spontaneity, but also from any of the reasons any of us have relationship difficulties as well. When this occurs for a OCD, however, desperation may set in. The obsessive compulsive will believe they have done something wrong, and all other issues will take a back seat as they analyze and reanalysed what they did and how they can fix it.
Because of the amount of effort expended in contemplation, and the obsessive compulsions, ability to be self-critical, they are often almost unassailable. Before you can even bring up your thoughts on a conflict, the obsessive compulsive has already attempted to see every possibility and take care of every eventuality. Even in psychotherapy, the obsessive compulsive experiences often beats the therapist to the punch when it comes to insights.
This personality disorder is rather unique in that sufferers do have excellent insight, and are capable of genuine love and empathy. The capacity for self-analysis is hardly a recipe for a disastrous relationship. If you have the temperament to tolerate the rigidity, having a partner with OCD has a lot of advantages. And a OCD will probably admit her diagnosis to you early on, but it’s highly unlikely you didn’t pick this up yourself just by looking at her presentation. In the end, a OCD is going to be a harsher critic of themselves then you will ever be.
Related to OCD is something called Limerence, which is defined as “an involuntary interpersonal state that involves intrusive, obsessive, and compulsive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation from the object of interest”. Basically, that just means the possessor harbors an intense feelings of romance that results from a combination of obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction. It as been called “super love”. The subject of interest is constantly on the mind of the afflicted. It may sound romantic, but like any addiction, it is not a healthy state. In a limerent relationship, you want of the subject can be smothering. They will feel the need to call you constantly, and will be available 24/7 for you. It may seem initially flattering, but a limerent’s affection will never be satisfied. Ten minutes after getting off the phone with you, the sufferer feels the desire to speak to you again.
People with bipolar disorder suffer distinct periods of intense emotional states. An over excited state is called a manic episode, and an extreme sad state is called a depressive episode. During the manic phase, sufferers may be overly happy, with racing thoughts and are easily distracted. Impulsive, high risk behaviors are often engaged in. Depressive episodes usually presents with loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities, trouble concentrating, and even suicide idealization.
If you are dating someone who is Bipolar, you will notice very drastic mood swings for no apparent reason. The sufferer may go from elation to total depression within a day. While suffering depression, these people may be excessively needy and self-absorbed, demanding your full attention. During the manic phases, impulsivity can lead to impulsive behaviors such as spending sprees, and promiscuity.
Medications can be very helpful in dampening the mood states, and many bipolar can have healthy relationships if they are being adequately treated.
Paranoid Personality Disorder
This is a personality disorders that you will be unlikely to encounter in a romantic setting. It is more common in men, and the paranoia inherit in the pathology tends to lead suffers to seek isolation. But these women are out there, and the guys they ensnare are pretty much universally miserable. Fortunately, paranoid aren’t very discreet in hiding their negative personality traits, so you should have little difficulty picking up the red flags early on.
The main dysfunction of paranoid personality types is a manifest distrust in the actions of others. It is often to the degree that they believe actions are being committed against them. The paranoia tends to be generalized, leading sufferers to view family members, (ex)friends,, and figures of authority all through the same lens of suspicion. Trying to confront the a paranoid only reaffirms their beliefs. A confirmation bias exists that is erroneously applied by sufferers to confirm their paranoid world view.
Paranoid personalities are always on guard, being on the lookout for those they perceive as trying to harm them. They doubt the loyalty and commitment of even those they are closest too, and are very jealous and accusatory. Without reason they will accuse spouses or lovers of being unfaithful. Simply having an attractive woman innocently cross your line of vision can lead to a tirade that will send you cowering and apologizing. The paranoid will go into rage mode, and there is nothing you can say or do to defend yourself at that point. She simply will never admit she is wrong. Accuse her back, try to get her to understand how ridiculous the paranoia she is manifesting is, and you will just trigger her hypersensitivity and likely another rage episode.
Clues you may see from this personality type is an irrational fear about giving out personal information, as they fear it will be used against them. Odds are good that she has managed to alienate most of the people she was ever close to in life, so questions about family members and friends, (if she is even willing to provide such personal potentially damaging information) will reveal she is not very close with anyone.
Histrionic Personality Disorder
These people, like narcissists, have a high need for attention, often leading to loud and inappropriate appearances, exaggerated behavioral and emotional responses, and crave for stimulation. Paradoxically, while they may express strong emotions, they are easily influenced by others. They often present in a very sexually provocative manner.
Similar to narcissism, these people are self-indulgent and egocentric, and will not care about you any further than what you can do to make them feel better about themselves, manipulating you to achieve some temporary satisfaction in their need to be adored.
Although usually high-functioning and possessed of good social skills, this personality disorder is pretty easy to spot right off the bat. No secret hints are needed to identify one of these gems. She will crave to be the center of attention, will dramatize and exaggerate even trivial difficulties in her life, and becomes easily bored and so engages in risk taking behaviors. She will be inappropriately sexual and seductive, even to the point she will engaging in exhibitions. If you try to engage her outside of a sexual context, you will find her vapid and shallow, se will be shallow, lacking any real thought or insight.
Schizoid personality disorder (SPD)
I only mentioned briefly, because of MY obsessive compulsive personality disorder. By definition, you won’t be dating someone with this condition. They lack of interest in social relationships, are apathetic, and lack any empathy.
Schizotypal personality disorder
manifests as someone having anxiety in social situations, odd behavior and thinking, and often unconventional beliefs. Again, I only mention this condition briefly, as you wont be dating someone with this condition. They do not maintain close relationships with people. They may present very strangely in manner and dress, and often can be seen to be talking to themselves. Basically, we are talking about the wacky dressed guy with the microphone at the street corner. Probably don’t need hints to pick up that he is crazy
Avoidant or Anxious personality disorders
I mention for completeness sake, again at the behest of my OCD. Hallmark by feelings of social inadequacy and a fear of negative evaluation, suffers avoid social interactions. Basically, they have an extreme form of shyness. You likely wont be dating these people either, unless you hang out at Dungeons and Dragons conventions. And you won’t be in for any surprises as they are going to be at their worst the first time they meet you.
Dependent Personality Disorder
This is not one you will miss if you see it, but I don’t even know if these people really exist. If they do, they must be going to exact opposite kinds of places than from where I hang out. These individuals have childlike views of other people, and are extraordinarily submissive. They view the world as cold and dangerous, they view themselves as inept, and so have decided to give up on any self-responsibility in life. They present as self-effacing, agreeable, and docile, with limited receptiveness and awareness of both themselves and others, seeming both as naïve and uncritical.
In a relationship, they will be meek and docile; admiring, loving, and willing to give their all. They will be loyal, unquestioning, and affectionate. They will be tender and considerate toward those upon whom they depend. Not only will individuals with DPD subordinate their needs to those of others, they will meet unreasonable demands, and submit to abuse and intimidation to avoid isolation and abandonment. Dependent individuals so fear being unable to function alone that they will agree with things they believe are wrong than risk losing the help of people upon whom they depend. They will volunteer for unpleasant tasks if that will bring them the care and support they need. They will make extraordinary self-sacrifices to maintain important bonds.
Yet Despite these selfless traits, dependent personalities are, for all their loyalty, indiscriminately attached to others as attachment figures who are interchangeable in their eyes.
This most definitely is not a personality disorder, but is in fact, a form of autism. People with Asperger’s have brains that are different from the brains found in most of the rest of the population. There is a large spectrum of traits that can manifest with this syndrome, and even more so in female sufferers tan in males ones, so it is difficult to say much that generalizes to the Asperger population.
Classically, Asperger sufferers are described as lacking empathy and being unable to read social cues. This is not correct. It isn’t that these skills are lacking, it is just that it doesn’t occur to Aspie’s to engage them. Neurotypicals are wired to pick up social cues. We aren’t. So, until we become aware that there are non-verbal cues out there, its a revelation. How can we read something we don’t exists after all. but with effort, we can learn to do so. We pattern them and can become quite proficient at it, although the patterns still tend to be applicable only in certain contexts. This is the reason most of an Aspie’s strange behaviors becomes less “eccentric” as they get older.
I will talk more at length about Asperger’s in a future article. But it is important that you be aware of it to some degree. If you meet someone who has odd social interactions, and may seem lacking in empathy, don’t assume it is a personality disorder right off.
Some clues tat you maybe dealing with an Aspie:
There is a high co-morbidity of Asperger’s and obsessive compulsive traits, or even Obsessive Compulsive Disease. OCD typically don’t manifest with a lack of empathy, but an Asperger might appear to.
Aspies can be very hyper focused on one subject. If you find your date going into a forty minute discussion on how batteries are the coolest thing ever, you probably got an Aspie on your hands.
If a girl is calling you excessively, but doesn’t really seem all tat into you when she does so, you are probably dealing with an Aspie. She probably is into you, but doesn’t know how to express it, and also doesn’t grasp the social inappropriateness of the frequent calls. Don’t feel bad about explaining it to her however. She will more than likely appreciate the knowledge, and would be unlikely to be offended. Aspies are very literal, and tend to have an allegiance to the truth. This can make us seem very blunt, but we appreciate bluntness in return.
A girl who seems to have interests which aren’t gender consistent may be an Aspie. If she is really gung-ho about Star Wars or comic books for instance.
If you feel like you are dating a Vulcan. Aspie’s are very logical and truthful
And finally, if you give her flowers, and she asks you what do dead plants have to do with feelings of romance, you pretty much have it nailed down you are dealing with an Aspie.
Just a brief overview of what kinds of pathologies are out there, but hopefully there is enough information to help you to not walk into anything blindly. It is not to say that relationships with someone with a personality disorder cannot be accomplished (except with narcissists. Stay away from those motherfucker at all costs). But doing so requires a lot of patience, empathy, and an understanding of what the pathology of their disorder is. It is a commitment that is not for the faint of heart. Picking up the clues of what may be a personality disorder will give you a heads up, and perhaps a little more choice in the what your options are before you find yourself too emotionally invested.
And if emotional investment is not something you are at all concerned about, than you can get some really great sex.