The Swing of Things
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The Swing of Things

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Swinging 101 – The Four Carnal Steps


Chances are you and your partner are:

  1. Developing in interest in Swinging
  2. Want more information on the Lifestyle


Whichever reason doesn’t matter. You’ve stumbled upon my page for the nitty, gritty skinny on the “Lifestyle” and more importantly, the lifestyle here in Las Vegas. So, to satisfy the needs of both adjoining parties and before I even dabble in the swanky lifestyle scene here in Las Vegas, I am going to start from the very beginning.


Step One: The Talk

The lifestyle has many benefits. Besides all the obvious adult fun and experiences couples share together, they begin to grasp a clearer understanding of each other’s likes/dislikes, wants/needs on a deeper level most mono-relationships won’t reach. Swinging- when done correctly, has been said to even bring couples closer together. On the contrary, it also has been known to tear couples apart. The key element between whether a relationship sinks or sails all depends on communication, communication, communication.




I cannot stress this enough. I have seen and heard of many occurrences whereby this is used as a tool for “spicing things up” or only one partner is into the lifestyle, or even when both are interested but one partner ends up feeling slated because no boundaries were set, either way, they all end up with ridiculously unhappy endings.




Unsure on where to start? You can begin with the topic matter in general. Ask each other questions these questions and be sure each of you are not only heard, but understood as well.

  1. How do you feel about Swinging?
  2. Are you in a strong place of trust, communication and self-confidence?
  3. Are you doing this to please your partner?
  4. What are your expectations of joining the lifestyle?
  5. Is this a step in the direction for which you are truly comfortable with?


Once both parties have thoroughly processed their answers and are on the same page entirely, they are ready to take the next step.


Step Two: Setting Boundaries

There are many different forms of “swinging” and is based entirely upon the couple’s level of comfort. Some couples jump straight into what is referred to as “full swap” while others linger in simple exhibitionism for years before moving on to the next level. Here are the common terms and its definition coined by those in the lifestyle (borrowed from

  • Soft Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners but do not have intercourse and is generally limited to swapping orally.
  • Full Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners including intercourse.
  • Same Room – when a couple plays or swaps it is within the same room as their partner.
  • Separate Room – swapping and playing in a different room than your partner.
  • On-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that has on-site facilities for play.
  • Off-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that does not have play facilities on-site.
  • Voyeurism – The act of watching others have sex.
  • Exhibitionism – The act of having sex in front of others.
  • Meet & Greet – generally held at a regular venue with the intention of a group of lifestyle couples meeting to gauge interest in a no pressure atmosphere.
  • Hall Pass – one part of the couple has been given permission to play alone without the other partner – take heed of this and always verify with the other half of the said couple.

Of course this is just an outline. The two of you should tweak whichever you decide on down to the very bit of detail. (e.g. Soft-swap no kissing or FFM threesomes only) Once you two have found a place you are comfortable with, this is the foundation for which you will build upon as experience and awareness for what works for the both of you as a couple. If you are unsure with how much could be tolerated but in the same instance find the “lifestyle” infatuating then you need to stop here. This isn’t a game nor is it to test your limits or the limits of your partner because if you are at all reluctant, you might as well prepare yourself for disappointment.


Step Three: Getting Your Feet Wet

So, you’ve communicated and set boundaries now what? Well, this is the fun part. Getting out there and exploring! There are three reputable lifestyle websites that are free to join and search other member’s profiles but both do require memberships to access premium features such as messaging and the skinny on social events.


  • – The number one lifestyle social platform. You can build a profile, search for members all over the nation or find local events close-by.
  • – A fresh, new social platform and premiere network for Swingers.
  • – This members only platform caters only to the west coast regions so if you do not live in California, Nevada or any where west, there is no point in joining.


I honestly recommend Into the Lifestyle or Kasdie. Both website platforms easy to navigate and caters to all of the US. This leaves the both of you with endless possibilities worth every penny of the membership fee.


Step Four: Meet and Greet a Must

I know by now you two are excited and ready to dive into an event whether social or private one-on-one but I recommend before doing so, attend a Meet and Greet event. These events are designed especially to break the ice and give the both of you a feel of what to expect. Chances are there will be seasoned couples attending these events as well, therefore take advantage of the prime opportunity to ask as many questions your two hearts desire.
As said, Swinging can be adventurous, fun and life changing if done correctly. This is why it is referred to as a lifestyle, not a phase. This isn’t a quick fix to underlying relationship issues nor should it be taken lightly. For information on the lifestyle or if you want to ask me more in depth questions feel free to comment and I will do my best to answer any of your concerns.


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Jayde Onyx Lei

Blogger/Writer at Raw, Lewd & Indecent

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